someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
