ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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