why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
