I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
do nipples grow back?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
