Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
