He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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