I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
