He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
