I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
