Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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