i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
