she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
