do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
