this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
