I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
