His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
