Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i dont even know how to be here
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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