Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
