I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
