It's just like the Real World with babies
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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