He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I understand Curling. That high.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
