My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize