ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
