We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
