I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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