She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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