hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
