I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize