You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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