i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize
