I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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