I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
