I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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