but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
