I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
