I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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