So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
