First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
