Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
