There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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