I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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