Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
