Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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