OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
