everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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