i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I am naked and annoyed.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
