And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
not ubering you a puppy
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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