On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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