Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
