pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
