and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
