I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
