Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
