I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
