Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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