She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
