My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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