Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize