Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
