is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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