your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
