I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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