STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
