I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
